understatement of the year: I love you so much

Love makes life so friggin IRONIC! taena siya..

It started as a crush.. isang simpleng pangungutya sa katotohanang dati kong pinaniniwalaan ko bago ko pa man siya makita.

a simple gesture of affection.. An obvious recognition of the overwhelming fact that she's no ordinary girl. The very first time I layed eyes on her, she just stole every bit of sensical thought I had at that moment.. nabalatan ng buong buo ang pagkatao ko.. ni hindi ko namalayang inuugatan na ako sa kinauupuan ko.. at sa takaw kong to, naiwan kong hindi nagagalaw ang hapunang noo'y pinagpipilitang tapusin.

There is really something about the first time I met her. My whole world colapsed to a tiny speck, a cosmo of some sort, whose dying and living wish is to be with her, to revolve around her, to make HER the center of the universe. It scared me to death. I even forgot that I, at that time, the SUN to someone else's universe. Sino ba namang magaakalang sa isang malaking pagtalon sa mga taong namagitan sa noon at ngayon, makikita ko sarili kong hawak ang mga kamay niya and everything that goes with it.

A thin line between friends and SOMETHING else was breached. The personal, MUTUAL bubble was popped. One thing led to another, two souls succumbed to each others wants and needs, and three parties were involved. That fact sucked. And the fat ass writing this crap sucks. Hindi na ako natuto. Hindi na ako nagsisi. Hindi na ako nagising sa katotohanang hindi KAILANMAN pwedeng maging kami. Dahil nabuhay siya para mahalin ang iba. At masakit tanggapin mo. Ang mahalin ang isang taong may mahal nang iba.

Am I always the backup plan? The spare tire? The supporting actor dying to have the main role shoved his greedy throat? Hanggang kelan ba ako mabubuhay sa anino ng iba? Minsan hindi ko talaga alam kung mahal niya ako kaya niya ako kailangan o kailangan niya ako kaya niya ako mahal?

A relationship brought by love saturated chances, an instrument glorifying the downfall of a anemically justfied commitment. Pagsasamahang dinungisan ng pangiintriga't pangungutya, na binubuhay sa tyaga at pagaaruga. Kasalanan na ba talagang magmahal ngayon?

Looking back, friends of mine urged me to press the eject button and save my pathetic ass from dying in that inevitable plane crash. Pero hindi ko ginawa. Hindi ko tinigilan bagkos, inakap ko ang kalugmukang inaasahan ko. Kaya kung may dapat sisihin, kung may dapat gaguhin, kung may damuhong dapat bugbugin ako yun. kasi tanga akong magmahal. gago akong umibig. ika nga ng isa sa mga diyus-diyusan ko:

Now that we are over as the loving kind

we'll be dreaming ways to keep the good alive

only when we want is not a compromise

I'd be pouring tears into your drying eyes

you whisper "come on over" 'cause you're two drinks in

but in the morning, I will say goodbye again

Think we'll never fall into the jealous game?

the streets all flood with the blood of those who felt the same

friends lovers or nothing,

there can only be one

friends lovers or nothing

there'll never be an in-between, so give it up

anything other than yes is no

anything other than stay is go

anything less than "i love you" is lying