si caloy at si isha

My photo
sa pagbabago ng panahon, sa pagkurba ng tadhana sa napagpintasang gunita, sa paglalayon sa habang buhay na pagtunton... sa dambana, sa harap ng madla, nanaisin kong mangako ng magpakailanman, patungkol, dahil at para sa iyo...

Monday, March 24, 2008

pagtinotopak nga naman..

I’m messing my life again..

I never knew job hunting would be this agonizing. It started as a simple rational “kailangan ko ng trabaho. Kaya kahit ano papatusin ko.” But it turns out to be a bogus of a rationale in every sense of the word. Damn. Why do I keep turning down possible employers? Its their duty to turn its possible employees… not the other way around!

There is this world-renowned company in paranaque which insist that I take application exams for a high ranking position. The first proposal, I turned down because of a “prior engagement” which happens to be another bonding experience with boos and beers—not a prerequisite for a PLEASANT FUTURE. I thought that chance was gone forever. But I was wrong. A girl called me (in her sexy bedroom voice) that I can still take that exams the next day. But laziness, whose growing popularity amongst graduating students, won over the war against the most rational idea of finding a job. I turned the offer for the second time.

Chances are that I wont have the same opportunity with other companies and I’ll stay bum and bankrupt forever (with the growing “pot of debt” I owe to many friends and family). On the other hand, the same opportunity might reveal itself in the near future. The question is whether to go the extra mile to live my dreams of having a decent life, or would just stay here in my comfort zone where everything is just a happy “bonding experience.” Though that question lies somewhere in the future, I must know now what really is my priority.

As of now, I’m still searching for that courage within me to stand up, stretch and stop staring at the TV for a moment and relive my former glory of being a workaholic and face a brighter future.

Yah.. probably this psycho-drama would turn out to be “just a phase.” But one thing is for sure. Opportunity is a wise being. It only knocks once or twice in your door to know whether your priority is to live your life or live dreaming big and.. just that.. just dreaming..

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